Let’s Not Be Perfect


Blogger Homaira Kabir writes that the “burden of grandiosity can crumble, leading disillusionment and depression.” When we ignore our imperfections, the author explains, we tend to get caught up in our positives. Of course, this isn’t an entirely terrible thing. In recovery especially, we are walking the spiritual path to clear and heal shame. Through therapy, meditation, and education, we practice finding compassion for the critical narratives and voices which live within us. Kabir explains that only focusing on the good helps us ignore those imperfections which need our mindfulness the most. Without looking at our imperfections objectively, we lose sight of what needs to be forgiven with compassion.

Compassionate work on our imperfections is an opportunity to change who we are, what we think, and how we behave. If we feel that there is nothing wrong with who we are, what we think, and how we behave, we will not look for an opportunity to change. It isn’t so much a matter of right and wrong as it is a matter of whole and divided. Kabir writes, “in trying to convince ourselves of our greatness, we become divided with our wholeness, and devolve into lesser versions of ourselves.” The simple truth is that as human beings we are inherently flawed and full of imperfections. Buddhism believes that all human beings will experience suffering based on attachments of the ego. Only by recognizing this inherent imperfection can liberation from it begin.

Recovery is part of a great movement toward self-help and self-improvement. We learn about our individual personalities, psychologies, and even spiritual beliefs. For those in recovery, it is about life or death- to change is to live, to stay blissfully ignorant is to risk death by substance abuse. For the general public, self-help is about feeling better, thinking more positively, and quite often, making more money as a result. Perfecting one’s imperfections should be a matter of service more than a matter of personal gain or benefit. Recovery is rooted in becoming of maximum service to others. By liberating ourselves from our attachment to perfection, we can help others do the same.


Refuge Recovery strives to help each individual client learn how to embrace the entirety of who they are in order to live fulfilling lives. Through clinical therapeutic treatment and spiritually based modalities, our Buddhism-driven program frees men and women from the toxic attachment to drug and alcohol addiction. For more information on our treatment programs, call 323-207-0276.

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