Tolerance is a big part of recovery. As our addictions heightened, we found that we had built up a tolerance for the substances we were abusing. Threshold after threshold was passed for how much we could consume, and how much effect it had. In treatment, we find that we develop new senses of tolerance. We learn to tolerate ourselves, our fellows, and the state of the world around us. Life being the dualistic universe that it is, can sometimes present itself as being intolerable. Of course, we use the tools we have embraced through our learning processes to creatively and compassionately find ways to continue tolerating even that which is most (difficult). There does come a point, however, when we have to detach from things that not just hard to tolerate- they’re simply toxic.
‘Toxic’ can apply to people, places, things, or even ideas. Looking at the definition of toxic, we see just one word: poisonous. When something is poisonous, it is “capable of causing death or illness if taken into the body”. After enduring a treacherous journey of detox and withdrawal, our mind, body, and spirit has a much lower tolerance for toxicity. We put in a great amount of effort in recovery toward removing poisons from our life, like anger, resentment, jealousy, and greed. Taking responsibility for our thoughts and actions, we learn not to infect ourselves or others with any toxic behaviors. Recognizing our suffering in others, we can empathize with unmanageability in our actions. If someone or something is persistently toxic, without any signs of committing to growing beyond it, there are ways to detach.
Embrace the Process
Understand that it may not be so simple as saying “I love, you, but I don’t love your behaviors. I’m detaching from you”. Boundaries may need to be set multiple times with toxic people. Toxicity not associated with people will likely be a shorter process, but may require reinforcement from time to time.
Your reasons are enough
“I have a problem with drugs and/or alcohol” was probably enough when it was time to cease abusive using. It is obvious that drugs and alcohol are toxic substance that can kill you or make you sick. Therefore, there is a lack in argument when we detach from such behaviors. In people, places or things that are toxic, it will not be as blatant. Choosing to detach from toxicity requires no argument or explanation. The choice belongs to you. You’ve always been worth the choices you make for your wellbeing. Now, you are empowered by them.
You may find that creating space instead of complete detachment is a better approach for your situation. Whatever methods you experiment with, keep up with your commitment to yourself. Demonstrating knowledge of your self worth through proactive decisions will benefit you in the long run, while keeping your life clear from toxicity.
From detox to sober living, Refuge Recovery offers a holistic program of treatment to help you purify your life. Return to the pure state before you attached to substance abuse. One breath at a time, we create a non-judgmental, welcoming space for you to heal. For more information call 323-207-0276 today.